Our Skating Trip Confirms My ‘WHY’
I have 2 young boys. The oldest is in Kindergarten. A couple of months ago my eldest had a field trip with his class to go skating at a rink.
Now, in his short life, he had never skated before ; )… but, as most young boys of 6 years believe, they can do anything and do it as well as someone who’s been doing it for years!
They have a ‘take on the world’ attitude that makes all possibilities possible!
The day arrived. With the entire kindergarten class, we arrived at the rink. We collected our skates, got them on and my Son quickly discovered that -first- you have to learn how to *balance* on skates!
Then…, you have to learn how to *walk* in the tightly laced up boots with thin metal blades on the bottom of them!
Once we mastered that, the next part was stepping onto the ice…
Have you been back on the ice, after a long period of time of NOT being on the ice? The ice is a lot more slippery than you remembered, right!
My son saw some older kids get on the ice, and just start skating. So, he immediately concluded that he could do that too.
Down he went, from the first step onto the ice, and then every step thereafter.
One thing about my son - he’s not a quitter. When he wants to do something of his own free will, there’s no helping him… No one can help, not teachers, not other parents, not me, no one.
So, I had to be patient, love him and let him struggle at it for a few minutes. Countless times I asked him if he wanted to accept my help; to which I would get a very frustrated “no!”
Now this went on for about 25 minutes like this… Him trying to get his feet under him… him losing his footing and landing on his stomach on the ice… Him finally getting some footing, and promptly falling down. On and on it went.
After 25 minutes of him “swimming” on the ice trying to get his footing, and then failing to stand up for more then 5 seconds on the ice, he finally accepted my help. But, just to help him to stand up.
He wanted to skate in the center of the ice rink and refused to hold on to any of the side boards - much too childish for him!
And, he certainly was not happy with the fact that his male counterparts from class were seeing his Mother teaching him how to skate, and helping him to get up off the ice, time and time again.
Eventually, he learned that a little help goes a long way, and he let me help. With my knees and back bent, holding most of his weight, flailing arms and legs; I was able to coach him on how he needed to get his balance centered on the middle part of the skate blades [thank God, I used to Figure Skate!]
After about an hour of this, we managed to get a grip on the movements and strokes needed to perform the “art” of skating!
And, after that hour was up, he could skate on his own, get up from a fall, balance and carry on skating.
I was so proud of his perseverance, and his commitment to completion - as stubborn as he was during the whole thing!
I am so thankful that I was able to be there to give him the one-on-one coaching that none of the teachers had time to give him. And, none of the other kid’s parents would have been able to give him.
More importantly, experiencing the day with my son re-confirmed that my decision to be a parent at home for my children was the right one. Because that is where my precious children need me to be.
I am thankful that I found a home based Program that allows me the TIME-FREEDOM to raise my kids from home, while it works for me in the background making sales and providing what I need to support my family financially.
Business Coaching #2 - Work-Life Balance & Fulfilled Living
The first time I heard about the term work-life balance I was surprised that anybody even thought of balancing the two. Wasn’t that like counting apples and oranges? Still, the idea was quite exciting and I thought I’d explore it a bit more:
I thought long and hard about what kind of working hours I wanted to have, what kind of office, how many people. By means of visualization all of that became a clear image that I was drawn to. Interestingly enough my enjoyment of the visions lasted only until the moment I realized that all my dreams and visions had come true! There is a Chinese curse: May you reach all your goals. That is exactly how I felt: empty and cursed - dreamless. So I pondered what I could do differently.
First of all I learned that constant striving for new actions creates a mess of outcomes that are not necessarily beneficial. It is like attempting to weave a rug using thread that is in a tangled mass. Imagine yourself inspired by the idea of the colors you want to use, the thread choice and the size of the rug. Your vision is clear and you slowly start working on it until you meet the first obstacle: knots that start taking you away from the initial goal. As you are solving the unpredicted problem, emotions arise, impatience, confusion, you end up working on untying the knot rather than weaving the rug.
My personal experience was that I dealt with both with determination and focus, so I kept balancing the acts, weaving and untying the knots, keeping myself busy, thinking that was just how life was.
There are times when it is right just to sit back and relax, allow thoughts to clear and become a tabula rasa, a blank sheet of paper ready to be filled with fresh ideas. When I first was taught this, I was initially confused and even upset by the lack of taking action and I rebelled against the process. I questioned if it was right for me, but each time I would face the same old fact: action was the thing that brought me where I was in the first place, and I wasn’t fulfilled.
Thinking about what triggered this awareness, I realized it was a simple exercise that seemed at first to be non-action:
Exercise for clearing the mind.
Find a comfortable chair and while sitting (or lying) observe your thoughts while not acting upon them. Free your mind of all ‘I shoulds’, of all ‘I musts’. Once a thought comes that brings a ‘WOW!’ state, a real desire to act, (sometimes there are other versions of it: ‘Wouldn’t that be nice!’, ‘I wish!’, ‘That would be great!’), proceed with one action that takes you closer to the realization of that thought. For those doing the exercise for the first time: when moving from thought to an action, choose small steps that are easy to achieve and give you a sense of completion.
Do this exercise daily for 20 to 60 minutes a day.
Copyright 2007 Dalida Turkovic
Seven Tips for Working at Home With Kids
You can stay at home with your children while still advancing in your career. So how do you make it work? Here are seven tips.
1. Control your environment.
A clearly designated office will help you stay on task. And an organized workspace will help minimize distractions and make the most of the limited time you have available.
2. Break work into manageable chunks.
Most WAHMs rely on their “to do” lists. When my three children are awake, I strive to give them my full attention, though I always have such a list on the table. The list just seems to grow all day and when naptime (or bedtime) rolls around, I am focused and ready to tackle the tasks at hand.
3. Make the most of quiet time.
When are you most productive? It may be possible for you to get work done during the day (while your children are napping or at school), but, chances are, the best opportunities for productivity will occur when your children are down for the night. My workday, for example, typically begins at 4 a.m. That way, I can spend uninterrupted, quality time with my kids during the day and remain relatively rested.
4. Remember your priorities.
If you find yourself consistently ignoring your children, they are better off in the care of someone who is less distracted.
5. Get help when you need it.
Lesley Spencer is the founder and director of Home Based Working Moms. “I think it is important to understand it is very difficult to be a successful mom and worker at the same time,” Spencer says. “If you are working, your children are going to need your attention. Of course, you can get by with short amounts of work or phone calls but repeated attempts to work while your children are with you is not fair to them or you,” she says. “I feel it is best to work while your children are asleep or at school. If you are working more than about 10 hours a week, you probably need outside help to give your children the attention they need. Consider part time preschools, Mothers Day Out programs, neighborhood babysitters, family or friends or a babysitting coop to help with your child care needs.”
6. Take time off. When your office is always open (and it is right down the hall), it can be difficult to stop yourself from sneaking in just one more task. Establish office hours for yourself, and try to avoid allowing those hours to expand. It helps me to turn off my computer after a certain time each day.
7. Reflect often on the many ways your children are benefiting from your work at home situation. When I start to feel overwhelmed all the unfinished tasks in both my home and my home office, I think about how I am demonstrating to my children that there are, in fact, ways to balance home and family. The path may be difficult at times, but it is certainly worth the effort. And I hope this is a lesson that they will teach to their own children.
Attitude and Expectations
There are two key words that lead to success in life. These words control the successful outcome of your business, marriage, and many other areas of life. Although you may have incredible talent and skill in life, you will fail if you do not master these two words- and vice versa. Even if you have only limited talent and skill, you will win if you live by them. These two words determine your future. They are attitude and expectation.
If you have a positive, forward-looking attitude, you will accomplish great things. How is your attitude? Does it need an improvement? Are you positive and upbeat? If you have the attitude that every challenge or obstacle leads to new opportunity, success is all but guaranteed. Thomas Edison was said to have worked on creating the electric light bulb because darkness interfered with his ability to conduct further experiments. He wanted to be able to work long into the night. Edison could have moaned about the darkness, though that would not have done any good. He used his attitude and solved a problem of darkness. There are thousands of examples in life of how some people took lemons and, with a great attitude, made lemonade.
Start building your attitude today. Convince yourself that you are the best at what you do. You have to be convinced yourself before anyone else will be convinced. The attitude you bring when faced with objections in your business will help you handle them. The attitude that you take when you have a problem will make the difference as to its outcome.
One technique to improve your attitude is using affirmations. Affirmations drive positive mental pictures into your subconscious mind. Create affirmations like:
* I am a great _____ (you fill the blank).
* I am skilled at handling objections in my business.
* People do business with me because I am positive, knowledgeable, and professional.
* I earn__________(you fill the blank).
* I am a great spouse.
Use these affirmatives, or create your own, to improve your mental attitude daily.
The second power word is expectation. If you don’t expect to win, you will not win. Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.” Make sure to set the positive expectation of success before your appointment with a prospect or client. You also need to set a positive expectation before every call you make. Expectation is the gateway to confidence. The first step to having unshakeable confidence is to believe that you are the person for your job. If your expectation is strong enough, people will come around to your way of thinking. You just need to be stronger in will and mental focus than your clients, prospects, and others in your field. A perfect example is Henry Ford.
Many years ago, Ford went to his engineers and told them to build a V-8 engine. They said it could not be done. Ford plainly told them to go do it and report back in 90 days. When the 90 days were done, they reported back to Ford. They had spent the whole 90 days figuring out why a V-8 engine was impossible. In the meeting with Ford, they spent their time trying to convince him it could not be done; a V-8 engine was impossible and could never be created. Ford’s attitude and expectation of a V-8 engine was stronger than the engineers’ attitude and expectation that it could not be done. We all know who won in the end.
Your expectation will create your reality. You have to expect before you can receive. You need to expect the people and situations that will enable you to create the future you desire. Expectation does not mean you don’t have to work. You will work harder than before to develop the outcome you desire. The expectation takes away the fear of failure. Don’t be paralyzed by the fear of failure. Failure is a natural part of success. You cannot have success without failure. It’s truly a masterful design. You cannot have good without evil. The exhilaration of success would be lost without the frustration of failure. Most people forget their failures over time and only remember their victories. Take Babe Ruth as an example; he hit the most home runs of his time. He also had the most strikeouts. No one remembers that. . .only the home runs. . . the successes.
Set your attitude to positive. Look for the opportunities in every situation. Expect to win, every time.
Vince Lombardi had a famous saying:
“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t have to win once in awhile; you don’t do things right once in awhile; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit; unfortunately, so is losing.”
Lombardi had the right attitude and the right expectations. He believed they would win, every time.
Burnout: The Effects Of Unavoidable Job Stress
Stress seems to be an inevitable part of any job. Even minor things can lead to feelings of stress. Petty arguments with supervisors and conflicts with co-workers are among the most common every day stressors. For some employees, however, the level of stress experienced goes far beyond job strain and the irritation of daily hassles. For some employees, the level of stress experienced on the job builds up until it is overwhelming and leads to a condition called burnout.
What is burnout? In general, burnout is described as emotional exhaustion. The most common symptoms associated with this emotional exhaustion include overwhelming fatigue, headaches, stomachaches, and impaired sleep. And, as burnout develops, it often leads to a deterioration in social skills. Individuals in the midst of burnout just do not interact with others as they did in the past. They often withdraw from others. They may lose patience more easily. They may become more abrupt and abrasive in their dealings with others. Their language on the job may become cruder. They may appear to be moody and depressed.
Over time, burnout has profound effects on job performance. Simply put, job performance suffers. Victims of burnout are likely to reduce the amount of work they do. They may avoid tasks that they find most stressful. Their absenteeism is likely to increase. In the worst case, they may suddenly quit their jobs with little notice to their employers. Supervisors may not be able to recognize burnout for what it is, but they certainly will notice the effects of burnout on job performance.
Burnout often occurs in those jobs we think of as the helping professions. Professions such as teaching, law enforcement, nursing, and social work are all potential breeding grounds for burnout. Interestingly, within these professions, burnout tends to strike the most dedicated and most idealistic individuals. While burnout has been observed for years in the so-called helping professions, it can occur in a wide range of jobs. The key seems to be the presence of inescapable, day-to-day frustrations which build up overtime.
The frustrations that lead to burnout can take many forms. Studies of professions such as teaching and nursing have suggested that burnout occurs when workers begin to believe that no one appreciates the work they do or the help they provide. Over time the difficulty of their task and the presence of ambitious, but ambiguous, goals may lead them to believe that their efforts have no real impact. When the feeling “it doesn’t matter what I do” sets in, burnout is not far behind. Of course, these feelings are not limited to the helping professions. Anytime workers feel overwhelmed by the demands of their job and think that there is little support for their efforts, burnout becomes a threat.
Fortunately, there are several things that can be done to eliminate or reduce the development of burnout. First of all, it is important for supervisors to actively support their subordinates, to treat them fairly, and to provide them with appropriate feedback. Second, it is important for employees to develop a realistic view of what they can accomplish on the job. Unrealistic goals are a recipe for frustration and stress. Third, employees need to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Individuals who blur the boundaries between work and home are good candidates for burnout. Finally, employees need to learn specific techniques for reducing and managing their own perceived levels of stress. These techniques may include exercise and various relaxation procedures. Meditation, tai chi, and qigong are all examples of holistic health practices that might prove helpful. Practitioners have long argued that these disciplines enhance relaxation and reduce stress in the individual.
